I have wanted to write about Newsies since the inception of this blog . Now that we are a couple days away from the 10th anniversary of Newsies' opening night on Broadway, I wanted to pay homage to this underdog show that I love. I want to share my Newsies story in full for the first time. I want to dive into the good and the not-so-good and how my relationship with Newsies has evolved and matured over the last ten years. Over the years I have changed so much, but my love for this show has remained. Whew, I'm already tearing up a little bit. I just want to express gratitude so here goes nothin'.
Newsies first appeared on my radar on Thanksgiving Day 2011 when the Paper Mill cast performed in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. By the end of the performance I was sold, and Newsies went on my list as a show I just had to see. Fast forward to April 2012 and I was en route to NYC on a school-sponsored trip, which included tickets to a Broadway show. One of the options that year was none other than Newsies, so that was my obvious first choice. After dinner with a friend at Schnipper's on 41st St. (just down the block from where Newsies was playing, and as I learned that night, a frequent food stop for members of the company), I raced to the Nederlander Theatre. I sat with my classmates in the front row of the mezzanine, and as the house lights dimmed the audience went nuts. Then for the very first time, I heard that lone trumpet that starts the overture. Anyone who knows the show knows what I'm talking about. It gives me chills every single time.
I had no idea at the time that seeing Newsies that evening would alter my life's trajectory. I know that sounds over-the-top, but it's true. What I did know was I was a disgruntled teenager searching for inspiration. I was a second-year theatre major who was incredibly frustrated with how little success and progress I was making in the program. I was questioning whether I was on the right path. I was burned out and desperately trying to find something that would help me fall in love with performing again. Enter Newsies. I spent the entire show completely engrossed in a story to which I went in completely blind. My mouth was agape as I watched the game-changing choreography. At curtain call I leapt to my feet, in awe at what I'd just witnessed. After an hour of taking pictures, collecting autographs, and chatting with the cast at the stage door, my friends and I made it back to the hotel and my head was spinning. For the first time in a long time, I couldn't wait to get into an empty room and dance just for the fun of it. That was a huge deal for me at the time. Seeing Newsies gave me the push I needed to not yet give up on my goals.
I saw Newsies for a second time only a month later. This time, I went with my mom and she too was blown away by the immense talent onstage. "When can we go see it again?!" I half-joked afterwards. Time would eventually answer that question for me. By the time the Broadway run concluded two and a half years later, I would see Newsies six times on Broadway. Every time I walked into the Nederlander, I felt like I was walking into my happy place.
Late in 2012 I started struggling in my personal life and Newsies became my escape from reality. The music would never fail to boost my mood and I loved going on Twitter to see what the cast was up to at the theatre each night. In a strange way, Newsies and the people involved made me feel like I too was a part of something. Unfortunately, my love for Newsies became ammunition for my "friends" to use against me. Admittedly, I probably talked about the show way too much, but the taunts I would get and the names I was called (the most popular adjectives were "dumb," "basic," and "obsessed") were hurtful and quickly silenced me. I was so inspired by this show. I was feeling like maybe I could make my dreams come true because of this show. Why didn't anyone else understand that? I seeked a place to belong, so in December 2012 I decided to create a secret Twitter account that was dedicated solely to participating in the online Newsies fandom.
My fellow "fansies" quickly welcomed me into the fold. Soon enough, I began to interact with members of the Newsies cast on Twitter, which was thrilling for me. By the third time I saw the show, I was able to share my Twitter handle at the stage door and several cast members instantly knew who I was. By the fourth time I saw the show, I was immediately recognized, called by name and was even invited backstage after the show. By the fifth and sixth times, some of the cast could spot me in the audience and would wink or smile at me from the stage. Each member of that cast with whom I met and interacted treated me with an abundance of kindness. That meant the world to me at a time when I wasn't always getting that same kindness in my personal life. I was never able to explain to others just what the show meant to me. The joy Newsies brings me even now is not something I can put into words; it's simply a feeling that I have never been able to properly verbalize. I could never explain why I had to re-visit the Nederlander again and again. I just knew I needed the dose of the happiness that always washed over me as soon as that lone trumpet began to play.
I'm not going to sit here and say that my relationship with Newsies during its Broadway run was always healthy because it absolutely was not. The problems in my personal life weren't getting any better, and the joy that Newsies brought me was merely putting a band-aid on my general unhappiness. If I was in NYC and I didn't get to see Newsies again I would be crushed, but when I would manage to get tickets, my friends would roll their eyes at my elation. That only made me feel more alone - except when I was interacting with the Newsies fandom online. I was glued to Twitter every night when I should have been more focused on my studies. I lived for the thrill of getting a tweet back from a cast member. I exhausted more effort planning the next online fansie event with my Internet friends than I did getting my offline life together and nurturing my real-life relationships. My initial inspiration to keep performing, despite my protests to the contrary, was fading. I was getting the attention and acceptance I desperately craved via my online persona, but I was never fully satisfied. I remember being afraid of taking a break from Twitter because if I did, I would be forgotten.
By the time 2014 rolled around, my emotional band-aid stopped working and even my love for Newsies was no longer enough to keep me afloat. I spiraled until there was nowhere to go but up. Around the same time I was in the early stages of piecing my life back together, Newsies posted its closing notice and my already broken heart shattered. I was completely blindsided by the news and I remember exactly where I was when I read the headline. I was working as a follow spot operator on a production of Seussical and while "Solla Sollew" was being sung below me, I cried alone on the catwalk. At the time, it felt as if the world was ending.
Now that I am many years removed, I can look back on what I like to call my "peak fansie days" with fondness. I laugh at the energy I had to engage with the fandom and remain relevant. Unfortunately, back then it was difficult for me to feel any positivity towards my days in the fandom after I'd made so many mistakes along the way. At one point I convinced myself that Newsies ruined my life, which of course was false and completely unfair. By letting myself fall into this mindset, I also convinced myself that all that judgment I received was the truth - that I really was dumb, basic, and obsessed because I loved Newsies so much. These thoughts led to me turning away from the show, which ultimately caused me unnecessary pain.
I abruptly removed myself from the fandom once Newsies closed on Broadway. I stopped listening to the music. I cut off contact with several friends I had made via Twitter (a big regret). I deleted any content I had created. I couldn't bring myself to even glance towards the Nederlander Theatre when I walked past 41st St. When I graduated from college the following year, I didn't allow myself to put a Newsies quote on my cap. I converted my fansie Twitter account into a personal Twitter account and I didn't follow every move of the national tour as it launched. The decision to shut myself out, though horribly misguided, might have been the best thing for me to do to move on. I wiped my slate clean. It wasn't until the national tour reached my area almost a year later did I once again feel the pull back home to Newsies Square.
When I saw the tour, I had a wonderful time. I was reminded of all the reasons why I fell in love with Newsies in the first place. I was in a much better place emotionally by then, and by letting Newsies back into my life I began the process of self-forgiveness. Between this revelation and graduating college a few weeks prior (my proudest achievement to date), I had reached a real turning point. By the time the Newsies proshot was released in movie theatres in 2017, I was ready to sit back and soak up everything I always loved about this little show - in moderation, of course. The taunts from the past still haunted me and I made sure to publicly reign in my excitement about anything Newsies-related.
Let's fast forward to 2019. A local community theatre announced Newsies as part of their season. I once again found myself ready to quit performing forever, but it was Newsies. I had to give it one last shot. After a long and stressful audition process, I was cast in the show as a nun, a Bowery Beauty, and the oldest member of the newsie ensemble. I have never thrown myself into a show like I did this one, and being in a production of Newsies gave me the permission to geek out as much as I wanted. I danced and sang as if it were the last time I ever would, and various milestones of the rehearsal process were quite emotional for me. I remember at the closing night cast party our Jack Kelly joked, "I thought I loved Newsies, but then I met you!" It was the best compliment I could have received.
On opening night, I stood in the wings and listened to the pre-show announcement conclude and our audience go nuts. Sound familiar? That beloved lone trumpet began the overture as I covered my face and wept. As my very own Newsies family enveloped me into a group hug, I reflected on my journey with Newsies and how it was finally coming full circle. For the first time ever I felt free to love the show without feeling any embarrassment or remorse. I don't think I stopped crying for the entire performance, but the only emotion I remember feeling that night was true, complete, unbridled happiness.
Today, I am a completely different person from who I was when Newsies first danced its way into my life when I was 19. I turn 30 later this year. I have a corporate job and career of which I am very proud. The friends I keep close to me now would never maliciously call me names (on the contrary, I joked to a group of girlfriends during lockdown that I could build a whole PowerPoint about Newsies, and they encouraged me to make one and present it via Zoom). Most importantly, I am a far happier and more complete person than I was ten years ago. I no longer need Newsies in order to make it through the day; Newsies is simply here to enhance my life when I could use a smile or an extra boost of inspiration.
Some things haven't changed. Listening to the Original Broadway Cast Recording still instantly improves my mood. It took me five years after Newsies closed on Broadway to set foot back in the Nederlander Theatre, but when I finally did in 2019 to see Pretty Woman I was hit with wonderful memories. It was the homecoming I didn't know I needed. For that reason, the Nederlander Theatre remains my favorite Broadway house. I still follow most former Newsies cast members on social media and I love to scan cast lists of upcoming shows for their names. It's important to me to support the performers who always treated me with such patience and kindness. I appreciate that they still treat me the same way. If I tell any of them I am attending a show they're in, I am almost always greeted afterwards with a warm smile and a hug - something they never have to do, but they do it anyway. I hope they know that I would faithfully support and respect them just the same if they didn't know me from Adam. I love how Newsies' popularity continues to grow and I love seeing a younger generation of fansies keep the soul of the show alive. I'm so happy that many members of the company are coming together in a few days to celebrate the 10th anniversary with a reunion concert at 54 Below. No, I can't be there due to work commitments, but it's okay! I know there will be lots of content to pore over afterwards. Lastly, I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am that Newsies is getting a second life later this year on the West End. London is one of my top bucket list destinations. What better excuse is there to finally make my way across the pond? In addition to the long list of things I want to do and see in London, I would love to make Newsies my first West End show I ever attend.
Ultimately, Newsies helped me heal. It is still helping me heal, actually. Ten years later, Newsies is still teaching me a lot about myself and pushing me to be a better person. Different lyrics and lines resonate with me in new ways as I grow older, which makes my journey with this show so dynamic.
My relationship with Newsies is far from perfect, but the show always seems to creep back into my life to bring me joy when I crave it most. For the last ten years, Newsies has given me something to believe in (see what I did there?). A big part of that is because of the people I met along the way. To my fansie friends (you know who you are), whether or not we are still in touch, thank you for your friendship. To my FTP Newsies fam, you gave me permission to feel deeply for this show for the first time in years. Thank you for enabling me in the best possible way. To the Broadway and tour companies of Newsies, especially my faves (again, you know who you are) thank you for your warmth and patience and generosity. If I've ever bothered or annoyed you, you never let it show. Most importantly, thank you for sharing your gifts with the world. You all are so immensely talented and a joy to watch.
I want to end this blog with a statement that I haven't been able to say with confidence until recently. To avoid judgmental comments and glances, I used to lie about my favorite show. Isn't that silly? I'm not doing it anymore. Newsies is my all-time favorite show, it has been for ten years, and it would have to take something very, very special to change that.
Happy 10th Anniversary, Newsies. Thank you so much for everything.
To honor the 10th anniversary, the Broadway and National Tour companies of Newsies have put together a campaign to raise money for The Covenant House, an organization that benefits homeless youth. You can donate to this great cause by clicking here.
To read a fantastic, comprehensive article published recently about the history of Newsies the Broadway musical, click here.
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