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Hillary’s Hamilton Sorting Ceremony




If you’re following Lin-Manuel Miranda on Twitter…

Wait – you did NOT just ask me who Lin-Manuel Miranda is. Seriously?! If you don't know who Lin is stop reading this right now, go educate yourself, then come back and return to my good graces. Bye.

If you’re following Lin-Manuel Miranda on Twitter (if you’re not you need to seriously analyze your life choices), you’ve probably seen that he’s constantly asked to sort the characters of Hamilton into Hogwarts houses. You may have also seen that a few months ago, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe saw Hamilton and sorted the characters with Lin backstage.

Last week, Lin and Radcliffe’s Potter co-star Emma Watson teamed up to sort the Hamilton characters as well (and also beatboxed and freestyled, but that’s another story). So, I decided that I’m going to let myself completely geek out on two of my favorite things and have my own little Hamilton sorting ceremony.

Firstly, to help you Harry Potter amateurs, I’ve copied the JK Rowling approved definitions of each Hogwarts house, to help you better understand my selections and to form your own opinions.

Gryffindor
is the house which most values the virtues of courage, bravery and determination

Hufflepuff
values hard work, patience, loyalty, and fair play.

Ravenclaw
 prizes wit, learning, and wisdom. It’s an ethos etched into founder Rowena Ravenclaw’s diadem: ‘wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.’ 

Slytherin
turns out leaders who are proud, ambitious, and cunning.

(Descriptions direct from Pottermore.com)

So, without further ado, the Sorting Hat is ready, so heeeeeeere we go, in alphabetical order:
 
 

Aaron Burr: SLYTHERIN – This one is pretty obvious. He lets his jealousy of Hamilton’s success get to him to the point that he challenges him to a duel and kills him. Self-explanatory.

King George III: SLYTHERIN – Though King George isn’t necessarily evil, as the Slytherin stigma would suggest (though promising to “kill your friends and family to remind you of my love” is pretty disturbing), he is, true to definition, “proud, ambitions, and cunning.”

Alexander Hamilton: GRYFFINDOR – As Lin pointed out while talking to Emma Watson, Hamilton was known as The Little Lion on the battlefield. Alexander has a determination that parallels no other. He went from having literally nothing to becoming the Treasury Secretary of the new United States. That is a feat not many people could accomplish, and requires an incredible amount of bravery.

Eliza Schuyler Hamilton: HUFFLEPUFF – Emma Watson put her in Gryffindor because she is “all heart.” I wholeheartedly disagree. Yes, Eliza is all heart, but she is patient and loyal to Alexander almost to a fault, and she is forever loyal to her sisters.  

Phillip Hamilton: HUFFLEPUFF – This was a tough one to decide, and a case could be made for almost every house, but ultimately I put Philip in Hufflepuff because of his extreme loyalty to his family, namely his father. He dies in a duel in an attempt to make his father proud and protect his father’s legacy and good name, despite Ham’s obvious mistakes and shortcomings.

Thomas Jefferson: SLYTHERIN – No, Thomas Jefferson isn’t a “bad guy,” but his cunning personality is what gets him to the top… even if it means knocking Hamilton and John Adams out of the way to get what he wants.

Marquis de Lafayette: RAVENCLAW – I originally had Lafayette down as a Gryffindor, but I chose instead to switch him to Ravenclaw. After some careful consideration, I realized that Lafayette’s wit and smarts outweigh his bravery, which is why he got switched.

John Laurens: GRYFFINDOR – I mean, I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Laurens believed in abolishing slavery and creating “the first black battalion” far before anyone else thought it was cool. He sacrified his own life for what he believed in AND went into a duel on behalf of his best friend A.Ham, and if that’s not the true mark of bravery, I don’t know what is.

James Madison RAVENCLAW – Jefferson and Madison work together frequently, but the way it’s portrayed in the show, Madison is the brains of the whole operation, and sometimes needs to knock Jefferson down a peg to make their goals a reality. It is also stated that “Madison is grappling with the fact that not every issue can be settled by committee,” meaning that Madison is one who looks for system and logic to come to resolutions, whereas people like Hamilton and Jefferson prefer action.

Hercules Mulligan: I’m having a really hard time deciding on him. Like, I meant to upload this yesterday but couldn’t cause I can’t decide on Mulligan. He kinda shares all the qualities of each house except for Slytherin, and I don’t know what to do about the whole tailor’s apprentice thing. So maybe he’s a Squib or something? Except he’s completely awesome. So he’s not like a Mr. Filch-type Squib. Obviously. Help me with this my lovely followers (and by followers I mean my parents)!

Maria Reynolds: SLYTHERIN – That girl is way smarter than she originally makes herself out to be. She knows exactly what she is doing and is convincingly manipulative in her affair with Hamilton.

Angelica Schuyler: RAVENCLAW – Just as Emma Watson pointed out, she is all mind. During the song “Satisfied” she calculates the stakes of marrying Hamilton, before ultimately doing the right thing and choosing to do what is expected of her.

Peggy Schuyler HUFFLEPUFF – I mean… she’s #AndPeggy. And she loves her sisters. Do I really need to say anything else?

Samuel Seabury: HUFFLEPUFF – To be honest, he’s far too patient when Hamilton starts rapping over that eloquent speech of his, and ultimately gives the platform to Hamilton – literally! Any other house would keep going and silence Hamilton immediately.

George Washington: RAVENCLAW – Though a case could easily be made to put our first Commander in Chief in Gryffindor, there is an overwhelming sense of leadership, brilliance, and wisdom to Washington that puts him into Ravenclaw’s corner.

Okay so there we go. What are your thoughts? Who would you have sorted differently or the same? (and please don’t tell Emma Watson that I disagreed with her on a few k thanks) I hope you enjoyed this little Harry Potter tangent, but now it’s back to full-on Broadway. See ya’ll soon!

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